Talked to the Boy...

So, after some moral support from friends I got up enough nerve to talk to Owen about Autism and Aspergers. 

Brooklynn brought me home an Autism Awareness bracelet so I had a good lead in.... After Owen's shower I sat him down and asked him if he knew what Autism was.  He said no.  I told him that he had a form of Autism that made him really special and so did Sophia (I thought the Sophia angle would be a good way for him to understand it wasn't bad).  He said, okay, got off my lap and went to the computer and started playing Club Penguin.  Maybe he wasn't ready for more then that...When he is, I'm here.

Autism Awareness Month

April is Autism Awareness Month.  I have spent the month thinking about all of the amazing things that make Owen great.

A few days ago, he took $2.00 out of his piggy bank.  We asked him why he was taking it and he said he wanted to buy something at school.  We just didn't press the issue (unusual for us, but we didn't).  Today he came home with the note below:

This is why he needed the $2.00.  He wanted to buy an AUTISM BRACELET! If he only knew.  (He lost the bracelet before the end of the day, but who cares).  I told Brooklynn I will gvie her $2.00 to buy a bracelet tomorrow, she said, she has her own money.  AMAZING! I held back tears.

I have never sat down and explained what Autism is to Owen, and I definitely haven't told him that this effects him personally. This is something that I struggle with. I have no idea when or how I will explain to my wonderful, amazing baby that he has Autism. Reality is, his life will have more challanges (like life isn't hard enough) then the average kid.  How do I explain this...? I wonder if he already knows, he is a good listener.

My Baby.....

The Routine He Requires

Tomorrow is a busy day.  I have Girl Scouts in the morning and I'm going to the Cardinal Game in the afternoon.  Donn has grocery shopping to do, so Owen will have to leave the house on the weekend. 

For those that don't know, this is not something that Owen likes to do.  We gave him the option to go with me to Girl Scouts (he wouldn't have to leave my van) or to the grocery store with Dad.  Owen decided to go with Dad to Dierbergs. 

Owen's first question:  "How many items will we be getting?
Donn refused to answer with a number.  Her told Owen that he would not be locked down like that.  Owen is a counter.  He would have watched the items go into the cart and made quite a racket about leaving when the number was hit.

Owen's second question:  "How long will we be gone?"
Again, Donn would not answer the question with a real number.  He just said "not long".

This answer took Owen back to "just tell me how many items we will be getting then..."

He cracks me up.

Autism Awareness Month

Every case is different… Oh how I know this. But Owen is drawn to other kids with Autism. He has been since he was very, very little. Jeanne (Mamaw) has a neighbor that has Autism that is nearly 20 and Owen has been playing with him, watching movies with him and talking to him since he was…2. They just get each other. They have an unspoken bond.

Owen's best friend is Sophia, his cousin (he calls her his best cousin, not his best friend) she too has aspergers.  The similarities in thier personalities are immeasurable.  Get them together and the wheels start turning.

My Birthday Celebration Continues

Remember I warned you that my birthday is my birthday weekend... birth-week... birth month.  I received a dozen red roses from my daddy.  It was great.  Who doesn't love receiving flowers? Getting them on Monday allows me to keep them at work all week and enjoy them selfishly.  Shame on me, Brooklynn loves flowers too.

Then Mick and Jeanne took us to dinner at Chuy's a new mexican restaruant in town.  The best part, Jeanne got me the cutest little Tousche cake (her dog made into a little cake) Brooklynn's favorite dessert.

Owen is sick and his eyes are nearly swollen closed, so we let him wear his glasses at the restaraunt.

Gonna need to find a Convent

DANG! Brooklynn is going to take years off my life worrying about the things that she gets herself into.  We were just visiting, sharing our day and she tells me that I am going to take her to a boys house this weekend and DROP HER OFF!!! She wants to hang out with him for a while.  She said I could stay "if I really wanted to".

WHAT??? Make up last week, this week the desire to start dating? My goodness.  Donn told her maybe when she's 18.  The only reassuing thing, Donn asked her "did you kiss him?" Her answer, "No, I'm not gonna marry him".  At least she still KNOWS you have to marry a boy before you kiss him.

Education Today

At work today I had lunch with a few friends and we got to talking about how the school experience of today differs from when we were children. The conversation had an even better flavor, if you will, because we all come from different backgrounds and are of a different generation. In the 60’s in the city class size was 40 children to one teacher and you counted on parents teaching children what school failed to. In the 80’s (when I was in school) the extent of extra assistance that I was aware of was resource reading (at that point I guess someone figured out that if you struggled with reading, you would struggle with everything else). I was fortunate, not only did I like learning, it came easy to me, and even at this young age I had already developed the “people pleasing” desires and skills that I implement today and I did very well in school. I also saw what rural American schools were able to offer (I moved to South Dakota, a town with the population of 550 during high school). There wasn’t the extracurricular options, you took home economic or shop. All freshman took earth science, all sophomores took Biology… This wasn’t the case in larger, more funded areas.

Today, kids have resources for socialization and speech, fine motor skills, gross motor skills.... all kinds. I think these resourses are great.  That said, parents still hold the responsibility of teaching their children what school cannot.

Because they know me so well & Love me so much

So, I realize that all of my posts thus far have been based around the kids.  Not today, it's my birthday, well my birthday weekend (which normally extends to my birth-month --- what can I say, I like to celebrate...). 

My best friends really outdid themselves.  Anyday I get a friend playdate is a bonus day.  Sonya lives about 40 minutes away and Kate lives about an hour away, so when they haul their cookies to my house, it's fantastic.  Yesterday they both came and Sonya brought her kids (Kate did too, really but hers is still in the justational stage so he/she wasn't as playful as Bailey and Abby).

So, Kate, being Kate, (and Tom, because I cannot say enough good things about the men that are in the lives of these two ladies...) brought bubbles... Perfect kid entertainer.  Brooklynn LOVES bubbles.  When Kate brings something, she doesn't bring one, she goes all out.  She brought 5-6 bottles of bubbles (colored bubbles) and a package of 50 wands that make bubbles in every shape.  WHOLY BAJOLEY, Brooklynn was in heaven.  Bonus, Tom was bubble boy and played with them and the bubbles, completely hands on the whole time (gonna be a great dad).

We were able to get Owen outside for the briefest of moments, but I made sure to memorialize it in film...surprise, surprise, Brooklynn is yelling

To see Todd (Sonya's main squeeze) interact with her kids, seriously melts my heart everytime I see it.

We came inside for dinner (grilled teriyaki chicken, pasta salad and pomme frittes with parmesan --- homemade thin french fries with parmesan cheese - big hit with Tom)

After dinner I got my presents.... whoop whoop presents (for anyone that doesn't know, I'm actually really not good at getting presents, it makes me "too center of attention").  Donn had already given me my presents (he is the kind of guy that when he buys it, I get it, can't keep a secret -- good for me.  I got a smartphone (Driod - like it lots), a netbook, that I don't have to share with anyone (the kids are just as happy because the computer is now free all the time and they only have to share with each other) and Friday I got noise cancelling headphones (also, like them lots, I used them while I was cooking dinner on Friday and rocked out... super fun).  Sonya (this is where the "and they know me so well" comes in) got us (me & her) tickets to see Harry Connick Jr in concert at the Fox.  My heart is already racing in anticipation.  The night I met Donn we talked about music and I told him there were only three people I needed to see in concert before I died (I'm not a big music person, but I know what I like) he has fulfilled the first 2, Sonya will be taking care of the last one.... Kate, got me a gift card to the Chocolate Bar for a celebration after the concert.  She agreed to meet us there (this is unless Harry Connick Jr agrees to abandon his life and run away with me after the concert).  I'm not gonna lie, I cried when I found out we were going to the concert...

Next part of the evening ("love me so much"...), cupcakes... Kate (OH KATE) made cupcakes and brought EVERYTHING you can think of to decorate them.  A dozen white cupcake, a dozen chocolate cupcakes.... yellow, green, pink, blue and chocolate frosting, M&M's, Reeces Pieces, gummy bears, and 10+ different types of sprinkles, and 2 types of candles... GOTTA LOVE IT!!! The kids were in heaven.  She also brought glow stick necklaces.  Seriously, her baby is gonna be the luckiest little thing when it is born.

We then played Apples to Apples (Kate won ... didn't let me win on my birthday, isn't there a rule about this?) then Catch Phrase Girls vs. Boys (we split 2 games -- rematch in the making).

I count my blessing everyday, these girls are always counted in these blessing.  Thanks.....

What's in a Name?

We all know that when mom calls you by your full name, you are SO going to get it. Well, Brooklynn is playing with her friends outside and I am hanging up with the neighbors as well, we are trying to get them to come over to the table to eat and not a one of them is listening. I shout across the yard, “Brooklynn Violette” and I hear the neighbor boy say to her, “You’re named after a color?”

I had to laugh, I had not other option. All mom sternness was lost.

-----

I think that a lot is conveyed in ones name, so it was important to me that they meant something, so…

Brooklynn --- Donn took me to New York on our very first trip, I think I told him then, “if we have a girl, we’ll name her Brooklyn ”, he agreed. The spelling, my middle name is Lynn, and Donn, (two n’s).

Violette --- My Grandma’s name. I find it comforting knowing that even though Brooklynn will not meet the woman that had such a huge impact on me, she will carry her name. I think this will one day have great importance her. I think it would mean a lot to my Grandma as well, I’m sure she is watching over all of us.

Owen --- My mother’s maiden name. My Grandma Vi named her son Scott after her maiden name so I wanted to carry on the tradition.

Tyler --- Donn's uncle, Donn Byrne, lives in Tyler, Texas.  In an effort to pay tribute to him we took Tyler as Owen's middle name.

Say What?

Let me just start by saying, my kids crack me up. 

I got home from work today and Brooklynn greeted me with a face smashing kiss, the kind where she grabs my face and mashes hers into mine.  She has just put on my lip gloss (without asking) so she was trying to really share it... When she let up and exaggarated my response and said to her, "Geeze Brooklynn, you didn't kiss me, you assaulted me".  Her response, al sweet and gentle, "sorry me face is salty."  Ha! She is so funny.

I went out tonight and Donn hung with the kids, when I got home Donn was asleep down stairs.  I asked about the kids to find out that Owen was "in his room, for throwing a trantrum".  I went to check on him and see if he 'fesses up to the trantrum.  He instantly tells me that he was sent to bed for throwing a trantum.**  The trantum was because he wanted a Thin Mint cookie.  I told him he could have a Thin Mint tomorrow, but he needed to prepare himself because we would soon be out of Thin Mints.  His response, "Then I will have a Tag-Along each day".  I rephrased my statement to "You need to start preparing yourselft because we would soon be out of Girl Scout Cookies"  I left him with that, knowing this would take time to sink in.

**It is a real accomplishment that Owen is able to verbalize what happened.  The great part for me, he has never lied.  I don't think he is wired for it.  He bends things so they don't sound "so" bad, but never lied.

Leather Clad

Tonight we took to our nightly tradition with Brooklynn and watched the American Idol results show. Brooklynn being Brooklynn she was not short on commentary. We had to fast forward thru the first singer because she “hated his music”.

The second performer however got high praise. Rihanna walked out clad in all leather and Brooklynn responded with "She looks AMAZING, don't you think so mommy?" I was so stunned that she was SO in love with this leather ensemble that I was without words.

I looked at Donn and simply responded with "we should be very worried from this point forward".

Easter Sunday

Easter came with a bonus this year with a visit from two mythical characters, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy (Brooklynn is now convinced they are married, if she only knew...) Owen lost another tooth (I have actually lost count on the number of teeth this kid has lost, he's like a shark, with rows of teeth, not just baby and permanent teeth.

The best part about the lost tooth... he has completely morphed his smile.  It is so cheesy! I love it.  How is he even able to chew food missing so many teeth?

We started the day with an Easter Egg Hunt and Easter baskets at home, the kids enjoyed it. Brooklynn's basket had a cute little princess dress and Owen's had a Nerf rocket launcher and Transformer mask. Both kids had fun with it.

Then we headed over to Mamaw & Papa's house for brunch and another Easter Egg Hunt.  The best part of the egg hunt was seeing the differences between Owen & Sophia (both with Aspergers) and Sabrina & Brooklynn.  Owen is particular about the eggs he wants.  Usually he seeks out just one color.  I sent Cousin Patrick with him at one point and Owen wouldn't touch the any eggs that were in the mulch "those are dirty", Sabrina had no qualms about the mulch.  The little kids got twice as many eggs as the big kids.

Understanding the Passage of Time

I got Owen to eat lunch with us (me, Brooklynn and the neighbors) outside. The “outside” being the impressive part. Last summer I would convince him to go outside by allowing him to bring a magazine to read… (Only my 7 year old would need to bring a magazine to enjoy a beautiful day outside). That said, he sat with us and ate his bologna and cheese wrap with pretzel sticks. During lunch he got up, walked around the table to me and asked “How many days have I been alive?”

I know Owen, so I knew this required an answer, we took 7x365+185 (number of days since his last birthday) and came up with 2740 days (we did the math aloud so he knew where it was coming from). I asked him four hours later and he still knew the number. I have no idea if this means he will be tracking the days he’s been alive, or what… I hope it doesn’t become something he obsesses about.

I read recently about children with autism having a better understanding about the passage of time, I of course don’t know if it’s true, but when Owen asks me questions like this, it makes me wonder.

The BEST way to wake up

Last night I let the kids fall asleep with me in my bed (this is bad habit that I started when Owen was a baby, hardest thing to break children of, Potty training was easier). Anyway, when Donn came to bed he carried them to their own beds. When I woke up I started my morning by crawling into Owens bed and cuddling with him, taking time to wake him up and visit with him. Definitely the best way to wake kids up, slowly, sweetly, lovingly. (HECK, I would rather wake up this way then the BEEP..BEEP.. BEEP of my alarm clock. Once he was awake and deciding what he was going to do for the day I left his room and crawled into bed with Brooklynn with the same plan. I spooned her little body and covered us up with her blanket (she manages to kick off all covers within the first few minutes every night). I gave her kisses and when she finally woke up, the first words out her mouth were ”I love you”. Seriously best morning in recent memory. She then proceeded to tell me that she “had an ‘adventure’, it must have been a dream, she went to ‘Gummy land’..” She said she is going on another adventure tonight, but doesn’t know where.

Picture Day

On a typical day Donn will wake up the kids with shouting (I don’t know that he can help it, he comes from a house of yelling). They get up to hurried cries of “Get up now, hurry up, if you want breakfast, get dressed….” The mantra is repeated thru out the morning as they drag their sleepy bodies thru the dressing process. Today was picture day so I woke Brooklynn early and let her lay in my bed while I showered and then I showered her, Donn washed her hair, I blow dried it, she got dress. All was going well. She was (I assumed) going to wear the cute dress we bought for the night before. NOPE, she wore her very cute Easter dress from the year before, including the hat. I tried to tell her "no" on the hat and I got the "Mamaw told me to" response.... This response will be exorcized out of her.

All in all the day was going much smoother then the typical morning. Donn got Owen up and dressed, khaki shorts and blue stripped polo with (here's the kicker) a belt... (do you remember the tie from just a few weeks ago). During breakfast Owen had to go to the bathroom and cannot get the buckle undone in time. The pee comes before the pants are down. Very sad. The worst part, his "private part" becomes stuck in his belt buckle. Can you even imagine. The worst part for me is that the belt is holding "it" in place forcing the stream of pee EVERYWHERE. To be brutally honest, the kid doesn't have the best aim as it is, but put it in a belt buckle and it's hitting my shower curtain. Donn stood in the bathroom doorway and just looked at him, not believing that this was even possible. I took charge, asking him to "pause", which shockingly he was able to do just long enough for me to unbuckle the belt. The shirt was saved, but the rest of the outfit, not so lucky.