Say WHAT?

Our nightly routine is the "What did you do today" round of questioning during dinner.  It is one of my most favorite times with the kids, we either pull information from them or we can't stop the flood... Tonight Owen shared something he learned.

Owen: Do you know old man time?
Donn: Who's that?
Owen: It's a figure of speech.
Donn: What's a figure of speech?
Owen: Like a catch phrase.

Let me explain why this is amazing.  Kids with aspergers, typically, just don't have the capacity to process figures of speech (this is one of the first things that the neurologist that diagnosed Owen with this form as autism explained to me).  At the time I didn't think it would ever come in to play, that very day I told him to "keep his shirt on" when he was rushing me, and he said "It is on..." I knew then I would be modifying the way I spoke to him.

Also at dinner...

I turn to Brooklynn and ask her if she wants to sneak off to go shopping with me after dinner.  She said, "I don't have any money but I have my credit card".  The fact that she said it with it such conviction made me almost believe the store would take the construction paper debit...

I was thinking about some of the funnier things that the kids have said in the past, here are some of my most favorite...

God Lives Where?

Owen: "Where does God live?"
Me: "In your heart?"
Owen: "Behind my imagination?"
Me: "We should go to church and you can ask the pastor"
Owen: "Can I meet him?"
Me: "The pastor, sure"
Owen: "No, God"
Me: "....ummm"

Can They Hear Me?

Brooklynn and I watch American Idol together.  We were watching the contestants sing and she was being overly critically, she made Simon look like Mother Theresa.  In an effort to try to get her to understand how hurtful word could be I told her "Brooklynn you shouldn't say mean things like that".  Her response... "Why, can they hear me?" ughh. I had no comeback.

Talk to the Animals

I have a bird. I say "I" because no one else in the house really claims Charlie, the parrot that has been part of my life my entire 32+ years. Over the weekend Owen decided that he was going to befriend the bird. This should cause great panic is all that have met my bird, Charlie is not what I would call, user friendly, he is a vicious killer attack bird....)


Owen's approach to the bird... "bird speak". He stood next to the bird and squawked and quacked at him. The bird, instead his hissing, almost chirped back. They became friends. AMAZING. Owen even shared his nacho Doritos with the bird.

We also have a dwarf hamster named Grey Night. Grey Night resides in Owen's room and all night this hamster runs in his wheel, his noisy, annoying, plastic exercise wheel. I tucked Owen in tonight and I said to him, "Owen, what up with your hamster?" his response was, "he just won't listen to me". Ha... We talked a little about the hamster and he said he "would try to train the hamster with his hamster speak" I asked him what hamster speak sounded like and he said "similar to guinea pig" (okay...he said this like I should have known the answer) "what does that sound like Owen?" his response, "squeak".

Gotta love my little Dr Doolittle. 

Getting Fat

I'm not sure if I have documented the concerns we have regarding Owen's size. We made the decision about a year ago to medicate him for his ADHD (50% of children with Aspergers have ADHD). The worst side effect that we have found with his medication is weight loss. Prior to beginning medication Owen was average size, maybe a little tiny bit under weight. Since he began taking the medication he has lost 6-10 pounds (all while gaining inches in height).

Owen can fore go eating, he can skip meals completely. The doctor has suggested that we give him meal replacement shakes at bedtime if fails to take in enough calories. The problem, Owen has decided to obsess about his weight. He has decided that he is fat, he stood in the shower last night and looked down at his body and told me, "I'm getting fat, I think I ate too much salad".

WHAT? When did kids (especially seven year old boys) start obsessing about their weight??!!

Fear of Drowning

Our kids take showers, not baths (weird, maybe), but showers. They stand in the water for a few minutes then I open the door, wash their hair, soap up their bodies and let them rinse off. I never have to check and make sure Owen rinses his hair, he always does (he’s got boy hair, it’s easy) Brooklynn on the other hand has her work cut out for her. I always let her try and I always have to rinse it after she is done. Last night same routine, but I let Owen stay in the shower too long taking more then his share of the hot water. By the time we get to the “I have to rinse Brooklynn's hair” part of the event the water is pretty cold. So I need to make it quick.  I know she’s gonna complain and I’m gonna ignore her and get her in and out as fast as possible. I held her in the water rubbing her hair until the soap was out all while she was screaming.

I quickly turn the water off and see she is sobbing, she sobs “Mom, it felt like I was drowning, please hold me”. I almost collapsed. I couldn't belieive I had done that to her. 

Not knowing Brooklynn, one might not know why this would be so tramatic.  Most kids don't know what it feels like to drown, Brooklynn does. 

Late summer 2008 Donn fished Brooklynn out of the bottom of his parents pool, reviving her with CPR and we spent that night and the next day in the ICU at Childrens Hospital.  I assumed, falsely, that I was carrying the baggage of the experience but she had done the wonderful 'bounceback' that kids do.  Apparently not.  And I just put her thru the most tramatic experience of her life again... GUILT!

Perching

So, let me explain how Owen copes with his physical issues. He has a need to soothe himself and he usually does this is some physical way (the soothing is a result of anxiety or sometimes boredom).

We really started noticing the behaviors at the beginning of 1st grade, he began sucking and chewing on objects. YES, sucking and chewing on things… your thoughts are the same as mine, “how disgusting”. Fortunately the things he chewed on were confined to the things that were in his hands or on his person. Like his shirt collar, or his hands (his poor hands were so chapped and battered). I say fortunately because I'm trying to see the bright side, I'm sure it could be more disgusting, right? He chewed the plastic coating off of the wire that connects the Wii remote to the nunchuck. We started sending an extra shirt with him to school because his shirt would be soaked by lunch time. Instead of nagging him to stop we decided to make him comfortable and it eventually evolved into a different method of coping (slighting more socially acceptable).

The chewing and sucking has become what I call perching. Instead of sitting he squats with his knees pressed against his chest, his body almost in a ball, sometimes his shirt will be pulled over his knees holding him in this position. He will sit like this on the floor, on the couch, on a bar stool, in a booth at a restaurant. His therapists tell me he probably likes the pressure on his body (like he's giving himself a hug or something) I can buy into that, I like hugs. And it's not as bad as sucking on stuff, it's ruining his shirts, but it's a small price to pay if he's happy.

Artwork.

As Brooklynn's kindergarten class learns each letter they draw something that begins with the letter. They are currently on the letter "T" so this drawing is outdated, but it's been my favorite so far.

They are allowed to draw anything...

... The letter "E" ... An Elephant blowing jelly beans out of his trunk...

How I Compensate

To explain… With Owen having aspergers I give him a different type of attention then I do Brooklynn. You would think me knowing that I do it would be enough for me to rectify the situation. It isn’t. Owen doesn’t have that much say (what he does say if usually fascinating or hilarious). But getting words out of him usually takes some work. I sit with him and ask him questions giving him my full, undivided attention, asking him probing questions, showering him with attention. Brooklynn sits back and watches this show of attention and (I assume) thinks “WHAT? Why don’t I get that kind of attention?”

Don’t think she’s starved for attention. She is far from it. I spend more time with Brooklynn then I do with anyone else. We do pretty much everything together, I don’t even get to take a trip to the restroom alone these days. We do things together, but it’s different.

Each night at dinner when we ask Owen “what did you do today?” Brooklynn says, “Ask me first”. So there is obviously an issue…

When I was little my mom told me that of course you love your kids differently, your kids are different. But you love them the same amount. I now completely understand and have no idea what to do about it.

Polygon Song

It is very infrequent that something sparks Owen's interest to the point that he will share it with others. I'm usually the exception, he shares things with me, but I want everyone to see how amazing and funny he is. His cousin showed him a song on YouTube, the Polygon Song. For whatever reason this song struck him as hilarious.


Link to the song on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Otcj9LOh8g


We had our neighbors, Pat & Keri, over for dinner and I asked Owen to sing his new song to Keri. He sang a bit of it to her and then he went and got dad's cell phone and played the song on the phone for her. Then he continued with his playful, open, sharing, spirited self and the three of us (me & Owen & Keri) played American Idol on the Wii. It was a great night watching Owen relax enough with company over and enjoy himself. I smile just seeing others see him the way I do.

Play Date for Mom or Daughter?

I made a commitment to Brooklynn that we would go to her friends house today so that she could have a play date. I made arrangements with her friends mom that we would come over this morning around 10ish and hang out for a while. I figured we could have coffee while the girls played.

At about 3pm we went home! I have no idea who enjoyed themselves more, me or Brooklynn. 5 hours flew by. It's always great when you enjoy the parents as much as the kids enjoy each other.
The girls having fun.

One of the funniest things the girls did was make credit cards. They took construction paper and cut it into rectangles and then added the 5 year old girl required glitter glue and name on each card. Brooklynn came home with a "Dierbergs Market" credit card (wouldn't my company be proud, she is a loyal shopper), a "Baby Store" credit card, and a "Doctor" credit card. She is trying so hard to grow up so fast.

Hoarders Prepare for Brooklynn

Each weekend I go thru the same routine with Brooklynn. The "Clean your room" routine. Every Saturday I withhold television and the computer and visiting the neighbors and ALL things she desires until she cleans her room. My mom did it to me, I think it's only fair.


To ask her to clean you would think I were asking her to pull out her eyelashes, something that involved serious torture. Periodically I will help her, I will sit with her and help her sort her belongings into the correct bins, etc. Every time I wonder how she amassed such a pile, and how it doesn't bother her (my mom must be laughing, thinking "one day I would get to deal with what she dealt with" I might have done the same thing when I was little").


Today the process was especially distressing. I think that every drawing that she has made in the last 3 weeks was folded or crumpled and shoved under her bed or in her closet. She'd taken each sorted container and dumped them and spread the contents ALL over her room, under the dresser, under the bed, in the closet... How does this happen?

I've never watched the show "Hoarders" but this is why, I'm afraid I will see the warning signs that I'm just not ready to see.

Suffer in Silence

My little boy isn't feeling good. Fever, labored breathing, coughing, the whole bit. I look at him and my heart breaks. What does he do about it? Nothing, he sits and suffers in silence. We went out to dinner tonight (we didn't know just how crummy Owen was feeling until we were sitting at the restaurant or we would have stayed home.) We sat at our table and Owen's eyes got heavier and heavier. We brought him home and he began to wheeze. I rubbed vapor lotion on his chest (he loved it).

We have him sleeping now, he's wheezing and suffering. It's tough to watch. I think I'm going to cuddle with him until he's feeling better. I hope he wakes up my happy easy breathing boy.

Learning From Others

So many lessons are learned the hard way. Frankly some people learn better through experience, I know I do. I cross my fingers and hope that the lesson doesn’t have too high a price.

About 9 months ago I learned a lesson from someone else’s experience, a painful experience that came at price much too high. One of my closest friends, had a beautiful baby girl. Nine days later I got the call that inexplicably she died. Perfect pregnancy, uncomplicated delivery, nine days, and then God takes this precious life.

The days, weeks, months….that have followed have changed this family and have changed me forever.

Girl Scout Camp

Brooklynn and I are headed to Girl Scout Camp. I applied to be a camp volunteer about a month ago and I hadn’t heard anything so I was beginning to think that they didn’t need anymore help. I got the call last night that I get to go!!! I was so excited! Brooklynn will get to go to camp too of course (the whole reason I am volunteering).

The camp theme “Game Time”. Anyone that knows Brooklynn, knows she loves games, so this is a perfect fit for her. We won’t be paired together, but she will know that I am there; I think it will work out great. She will get to be independent and experience it on her own. I hope she has the best time.

A tradition will begin the summer.

"Music's just not my thing"

So yesterday I got a call from the music teacher, actually dad did (he obviously didn’t know mom handles things in our house). Donn called me and asked me to take care of it , he said the message from the teacher sounded “serious”, so serious that I was supposed to tell the school secretary to transfer me to the classroom and interrupt class. EEKK!

I called right away and was transferred to the class, I spoke to the teacher and then to Owen. I told Owen that “he needed to apologize to the teacher and then listen to the instructions given and follow them. He need to make good choices for the rest of the day. If he didn’t he would lose his DS and all other games for the night; as long as I didn’t hear back from the teacher I would know he followed the rules”. He said “okay, love you mom.”

I did hear back from the teacher, I got an email, it went like this:
Mrs. Longwell,

Thank you for your help today. This was something that I wanted to try with Owen to see if it made a difference. The first day or two that I said that we would be calling home it did make a difference and he changed his behavior. However, the last two or three class meetings did not seem to make a difference.

I apologize for disturbing you and Mr. Longwell during the day, although I do believe that it was beneficial for Owen and the rest of the class. After our phone call Owen completely changed his behaviors and was acting like a different student. He came up to me and apologized and said that he would do better the rest of class. And he was much better.

Thank you again for your assistance.

I was SO happy to hear the our conversation was successful! He does listen to me! Owen knows that mom & teachers are a team… this is good….

At dinner I told Owen I was proud of him for making the right decision after we spoke. Dad said to him, "But (long pause) if we get another call from your music teacher, you will lose you games for a week, no exceptions."

Owens response, “Music’s just not my thing”.

Donn and I both had to stifle our laughter at the response. When I asked him to explain why, he couldn’t. It would be so much easier for me if I understood what aspects made it hard for him. Is it the noise? Is it the standing still on the risers? I know I can’t fix everything for him, but I feel like it’s my job to help him through things (feel like it, it IS my job!)

1st Music Program - The Results Show...

So remember my post from this morning...my nervousness over Owen's anxiety due to the 1st grade music program. Both of his teachers followed up with me, telling me that they talked to him. His resource teacher said he was "only a little excited" compared to the "very excited" that the other first grader in his class was.

Mamaw got him all dressed up, he wore the adorable plaid shirt and tie that cousin Patrick & Lauren bought him. I was able to sit on the floor right in front so I had the perfect seat to take pictures of Owen.

So... I clearly didn't learn from Owen ripping his pants off that clothes can be a distraction, the tie -- A BIG MISTAKE, here are a few pictures.

The theme of the evening was Holiday Favorites.

I'm not sure if Owen knew the words, he seemed to know some of the hand motions. The tie was such a distraction, there's no telling what he knew.

As the songs went on, Owen just got more distracted.

Song 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiEGUaqV8aU

Song 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yuRBUd6nOg

Song 3 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE0gGVipSMg

Song 4 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJw_chFj7W8

Owen's Big Night

Tonight is Owen’s 1st grade music program. We’ve talked about it, and by that I mean, Donn and I have told him how excited we are about it and he just stares at us. I am hoping that all goes well. I sent a note to his 1st grade and his resources teachers letting them know that I thought he had a bit of anxiety about it.

When Owen was about 3 years old he was crazy about music. He learned everything he could about it; he knew all the instruments in an orchestra by section. It was really amazing (I attribute it to Baby Einstein). When we took the kindergarten tour we spent a lot of time in the music room and library (the two places I thought he would like best). Then he took music class in kindergarten and the wheels fell off (metaphorically speaking). He was always in trouble. It was always too loud, it was always constant chaos, in a large part to the way he was behaving in the class. I found out later that he would often do something that would get himself sent to the principal’s office on the walk over to the music room just to avoid it. His behavior in music has improved this year but I believe the scars of kindergarten music class still exist, both for Owen and the music teacher.

We shall see how the night goes.

Tea for Breakfast

I woke up this morning feeling really lousy. Donn was great, he allowed me to sleep in, and he kept the kids occupied. When I finally woke up, Brooklynn came right it. She promptly invited me to her tea party. I walked into the family room to find the entire tea party set up.

You will see that the tea party is set for four people, she really wanted me to call our neighbors, Keri, Riley & baby Patrick, but I try not to call this early in the morning, I told her they were still sleeping (Keri had a place setting too with real dishes just off the blanket).

Brooklynn narrated the entire tea party.

Drink your tea...

Eat your fruit...

We had the best time, we are planning on a visit to a local tea house soon for a tea party.

Killing him with Kisses

First the back story… When Owen was about 3 years old I gave him a kiss and he wiped it off. I exaggerated my response with disappointment and said “No Owen, you don’t wipe off Mom kisses, you rub them in” and showed him what I meant, kissing his cheek again and rubbing the kiss in gently. Since that day, every kiss (and I mean EVERY kiss) given to Owen gets rubbed in. It’s typically an unconscious response; kiss, rub, kiss, rub. I think it’s is adorable, quite tender.

So last night, I’m tucking Owen into bed and I pin his arms down and kiss his forehead. I don’t let go of his arms, he starts to squirm, trying to free his arms to rub in his kiss (I know what I’m doing, cruel, I know…). He squeals, “Mom, I need to rub it in”. I rub it in and then I go back to pinning him. I kiss him again and I let the kiss linger again, letting him squirm. Very mean mom….

I let him go and then I lay next to him and to make it even worse I say, “Sometimes, when you’re sleeping I kiss you and you don’t rub the kisses in….” He looks at me questioningly and I realize this might be a little too much for him to handle so I go on to say “I bet those kisses sink into your skin”. He said, “let’s see” then he straightens his body out and closes his eyes waiting for me to kiss him. (So cute). I do and he doesn’t rub it in. He smiles and waits, about five seconds go by before I see his arms start to wiggle. I quickly rub in the kiss and tell him “If I kiss you when you’re sleeping, I promise to rub them in”.

He is so funny.

OT/PT

Part of Owen’s schedule now includes OT & PT (Occupational Therapy & Physical Therapy). These therapies were just introduced into his schedule a few weeks ago and he hadn’t mentioned them or his new teacher. (The difference between Owen & Brooklynn in all areas is vast but this area especially. Without asking, I get a dissertation on Brooklynn’s day, the games she played at PE, who won them, what she did at center time, the whole she-bang; Owen gets a new teacher, I have to ask specific questions, like “did you go to Mrs. Hulsey’s class on Wednesday this week?” If he went to her class on Tuesday not Wednesday, his answer would simply be “no”. ahhh….)

Anyway, I asked Owen, “What do you do in Mrs. Hulsey’s class?” Our conversation went like this….

Owen: “Her class is next to Mrs. Halmicheck’s class” (not the answer to my question….)
Me: “Really Owen, is that in the First grade hallway?”
Owen: “Yes, you should email Mrs. Halmicheck, mom”
Me: “Why Owen, is she one of your teachers?”
Owen: “No, she’s a first grade teacher, she’s nice.” (okay….)
Me: “What do you do in Mrs. Hulsey’s class?” (bringing it back to my topic)
Owen: “It’s called OT, occasional therapy and some PT, personal therapy. She sometimes even pushes me on a swing, she’s really nice” (It was hard not to laugh, it was such an adorable mistake; and me being me, I had to correct him)
Me: “Owen, OT actually stands for occupational therapy and PT stands for physical therapy. Did she tell you why you are in her class?”
Owen: “No” (if she didn’t tell him why, I figured there was a reason, so I didn’t either)
Me: “Does she come get you for class or do you walk to her class?”
Owen: “It varies, sometimes she comes and gets me; sometimes I walk by myself to her classroom.” (he talks like a grown up)
Me: “When do you go to her class?”
Owen: “Wednesdays & Fridays.”
Me: “In the morning or the afternoon?”
Owen: “Well, on Wednesdays, it is ten minutes after our first center, it’s really late morning.”

Ahhh, this whole conversation took place with him never looking at me, him scrunched up, with his knees to his chest, his shirt pulled over his knees. It really is a lot of work to get a little bit of information. I would have gotten twice the amount of information from Brooklynn with just saying “Hi”; it’s totally worth the work. The value of knowing what your child is doing when they aren’t with you is priceless, and having them know that you want to know, even more valuable.

My Biggest Loser

Last season we began watching Biggest Loser. It quickly became a favorite of both mine and Owen and I even let him stay up past his bedtime to watch it (we never watch things when they are on, TiVo was invented for me, advertising dollars are wasted at my house). Anyway, a few weeks ago during dinner we are watching Biggest Loser (how ironic that we are stuffing our faces while these contestants are sweating of the L-B’s …whatever), Owen announces that when he grows up he wants to be on the Biggest Loser. It was hard to keep my food down. Our doctor has asked us to give Owen meal replacement shakes on top of the food we already give him because he can’t keep the weight on (the only one in our house that has this problem, I promise).

I explained to Owen that the odds were not in his favor that he would qualify for this show, but that if he had the desire to be on a reality show we (me & him) could apply to be on the Amazing Race. I explained to him the format of the show and he agreed.

….Flash forward to dinner last night, I ask Brooklynn, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Response, “A teacher”. How sweet, I definitely can tell you this is attributable to the fantastic teachers both of my kids have. I turn to Owen, “What about you Owen, what do you want to be?” Response, “An adventurer, like the adventure we are going to go on when I get big”. I hope that CBS understands that I have committed them to running this show for at least the next 11 years AND to include me & Owen.

Ripped Pants

I got home for exercising last night to find Donn making dinner, Brooklynn watching TV and Owen sitting on the couch playing a game in the shirt I sent him to school in and his boxer shorts…. Everyone else acted like Owen hanging out in his underwear was completely normal and should be acceptable.

I thought it strange, what do I know, so I asked him, “Owen, where are your pants?”
He responded, “I don’t want to tell you, I would be upset.”
I coaxed him, told him he had to; I’m his mom… etc. He finally told me that “he ripped them.”

He didn’t rip them, he mutilated them. What was a trendy rip in the knee became a gapping whole all the way to his crouch. I told him, obviously, this was okay with him, so he wouldn’t mind wearing them again tomorrow. This, was a big problem for him, “his friends would see his underwear”.

We settled on Owen replacing the pants. He will be doing chores around the house until he earns enough money to replace the pants. I will buy the replacement pants at a garage sale (they weren’t new pants, he had worn them all winter). He decided this was acceptable. The whole thing was decided without a single raised voice, PERFECT. He can’t just go around destroying his clothes.

My Weekend Adventures

Enjoying the First Warm Days
It was a beautiful 65 degrees on Sunday and since this was the first real warmth we had seen in months, it seemed like the entire city was out trying to take advantage of the fantastic weather (who would have thought this Southern California girl would have ever considered 65 degrees warm). We made an attempt to go to the Zoo but traffic didn’t allow us to get within a mile (we waited for more then an hour on the streets of Forest Park before we gave up and turned around). We settled on Zachary’s Park, a local park that was built to allow a wheelchair bound boy (Zachary) and the rest of his friends and family to play at the park together. It is an amazing park.

Owen doesn’t usually enjoy being outside. He has grass allergies, so this is the perfect park for him, the ground is made entirely of the rubber bits that wheelchair can roll over and if you fall, you almost bounce. We spent an hour and a half, running and playing and swinging and climbing and SOAKING UP THE SUN!

The Generosity of Children
Owen has a really special relationship with his cousin Sophia. She has Aspergers also and I can only guess that this similarity made them both comfortable with each other from the very beginning. She is 2 ½ years older then he is and is a wonderful teacher for him, a really leader. She does things that he wouldn’t dream of doing, like sing the school choir. To watch them have a conversation is with each other is both fascinating and entertaining. Sophia will often map out the conversation for Owen, “now you should say this…” and he does, he follows along and learns the right way to have a conversation. All things I assume she’s learned from her various therapies in school.

This relationship information was necessary to see how tender this next part is…

We celebrated Sophia’s 10th birthday and her little sister Sabrina’s 3rd birthday on Saturday. Sophia loves reading “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” books. So the family took note and she received 2 “Diary of a Wimpy Kid Journals”. Mamaw told Sophia that she could return one of the books and get something else. Sophia responded with “Or I could give one of them to my best cousin Owen and we could be diary twins” It was so sweet. They call each other best cousins, not best friends. Love them. How many kids do you know that would give away one of their birthday presents on their birthday?

It's Like Riding a Bike
Brooklynn had her very first bicycle adventure this Saturday, it was so exciting. It started with hysterical tears, before she ever got on the bike, she threw a complete fit, insisting that she "couldn't do it", the "she would fall off", etc. I got eye to eye with her and promised her I wouldn't let her go. She agreed to get on the bike and we went all the way around the block. I was proud of her, but the best part was how proud she was of herself. It was so great to hear her say "Mom, I'm doing it".



Cub Scouts
Saturday was an exciting day for Owen's Cub Scouts den. We went to the Lindenwood radio station "89.1 The Wood". It began with a tour of the station, the boys were very interested (so were the adults). Then all the boys piled into one of the recording studios to do intros of themselves. It was very funny to see the usually bold, outgoing kids, shriek back in shyness when the microphone was turned on. The recording studio was too crowded for Owen. He left the room and sat in the corner of the hallway by himself. The last part of the tour was a live on-air interview. The boys were given specific instructions about how quite they had to be in the live studio when they went on air. We went in the room and Owen instantly began making his nervous Pokemon noises. I quickly took him out of the room. He didn't watch from the window, he sat alone in the corner. I gave him his time alone and then asked him how he was doing. He said it was just too loud there. It was heartbreaking to see him struggle so much with something I thought he would enjoy.

We left the station before anyone else. I decided to take Owen to lunch, just the two of us, as a way to wind down, talk about the morning. I took him to Pizza Pro, the one place that always makes him happy. He sate nothing, and barely spoke. I guess the morning was just too much for him.

The down side of taking things Literally...

Thursday night’s dinner was ROUGH. I don’t know if Owen had a hard day at school or if he just decided to be difficult. But either way, it was bad.

It began with Owen coming to the table and before anyone else sat down he took a handful of rice (he decided to fore go to traditional fork method) and shoved it in his mouth. Dad & I both reprimanded him, insisting that he use a fork. He did. He then took up banging the fork into the plate, exaggerating the use of the fork, really irritating dad (it wasn’t making me happy). Next, 3 huge pieces of sausage get shoved in his mouth; I’m on top of it, and I tell him “No, one piece at a time”. I’ve found that specific instructions work best, like “One piece at a time” not “Eat right”.

He slows down, but he’s really exaggerating every move he’s making. He’s making a minor mess and I say “put your head over plate Owen”…. Okay do you see the mistake I just made? I should have said “eat over your plate”. He put his face right in his rice. I WAS SO MAD! Needless to say, bedtime came right after dinner, more then an hour early.

The Loss of a Stamp...

Owen's first grade teacher staples a calendar in their take home folder each month and every day she stamps each child’s calendar if they were “good”. “Good” for each student is different. In Owen’s case, he has to follow his schedule. He has to attend all of his classes, etc. (In the beginning of the year we had a really hard time with Owen sitting in the hallway for more then an hour each day refusing to participate in certain activities). Anyway, his resource teacher (social therapies) gave him the option of sitting (he was laying down and flopping around) and participating OR losing his stamp because he wasn’t participating which isn’t following his schedule (this is one wise woman). HE CHOSE LOSE THE STAMP!

Now he is suffering the consequences! Which means, no games (no Wii, no DS, no computer). Thankfully, he likes to read, because that is how he will be spending his evening.

Some lessons are hard to watch them learn, like living with decision that they made…

Nurturing a Sick Child...

My little girl woke up this morning sick. She felt terrible. I put her in the shower to clean her up while I cleaned her bedding. When I got her out of the shower and wrapped her in a towel she said, "Whose gonna take care of me?" I paused for a second, I was going to say Mamaw (I am one of the fortunate working moms that has a great support system in grandparents that not only watch the kids after school but take "snow day" duty and "sick day" duty). In the second that I paused Brooklynn looked at me with her puppy dog eyes and sickly pale face and said, "I want you to take care of me."

"Done." There is no better feeling, then the feeling of being needed. And to know that what she needed to feel better was me. WOW!!! I spent the day watching her sleep, rocking her, doing lots of laundry, and just enjoying the fact that I was getting to stay home with my sick little girl. It was what I considered a luxury.

Cash Only

Brooklynn brought home an order form for a Dr. Seuss hat. All the kids at school are getting them to celebrate Dr. Seuss's birthday, and they are going to wear them on Friday. The cost of the hats are $5.00 each.

When I got home, Brooklynn demanded that I give her $5.00 for a hat. After a conversation about the proper way to ask for something, and an appropriately phrased request, I agreed to buy her the hat.

20 minutes later the phone rings and Mamaw explains that Papaw stapled a $5.00 check to the order form (sweet Papaw wanted to buy the hat for her) and she tells me that I need to explain to Brooklynn that the check is an acceptable way to buy the hat. Anyway... Brooklynn can hear the phone call and she starts to cry, "I need real money" "I can't take a 'check'". She ended up crying herself to sleep over checks not being real.

Judgement By Others...

I attended an Autism Workshop this weekend. It was very informative. The focus was on strategies parents and teachers could use to help children cope with the struggles of autism, specifically Aspergers (the prefect workshop for me).

There was a lot of cross talk supported by the presenter; teachers asking parents “what should I tell a parent?”…parents offering others parents advice. One teacher said, not looking at any parents “Is this being over diagnosed? Is this just a problem with parenting?” I felt the heat rise within me. In the year and a half that I have known what the problem was I have never felt so mad. I have never thought I was a perfect parent, but to have a teacher (a person that has influence on children with and without disabilities) state aloud in a room full of parents of children with autism such an inflammatory statement… she nearly saw the ugliest side of me… I shot daggers at the back of her head the remainder of the workshop. I feel sorry for the children that are in her class and the parents have their children enrolled in her class.

After the class, I counted my blessings for the support system I have, the teachers that make such an amazing difference in Owen’s life; the friends that let me vent. And most importantly, I thanked God for Owen, one of my greatest blessings.