Grateful to other moms!

Brooklynn has a very full social schedule.  VERY full, we have several birthday parties each month and I am grateful that she has so many friends.  I would like to add that she has good taste in friends also, I have yet to worry about the kids she hangs out with.  She has a wide variety and they are all very well-mannered and friendly.   Owen on the other hand doesn’t have the social schedule that Brooklynn has.  I think it is partially by choice.  He prefers quiet conversation and doesn’t like to go outside (this crosses off 75% of most boys his age) and since he doesn’t usually initiate conversations he is held back a bit in the “making friends” department.  I remind him that it is QUALITY of FRIENDS not the QUANITY of FRIENDS.  He is smart enough to understand and so far this is good enough for him.  He values the friends he has and he’s good with it.   This past weekend Owen was invited to his first birthday party of 3rd grade (yep , his first, kind of sad, but I’m hoping that there are just less boy birthday parties – PLEASE DO NOT CORRECT ME, my gentle heart cannot take it).  Owen was invited to this same boys birthday last year (a sleepover and made it to about 2:30AM before I was called to come get him “he just wanted to come home, he didn’t feel good”.  This didn’t upset me, I was more worried that the parents were never going to let him cover over again).  So when we got the invitation again this year I WAS SO THANKFUL! And OWEN WAS SO EXCITED.  All week he talked about how it was going to be “Epic” and “How he was so excited”.  He gave serious consideration to the gift that he got him, it was very wonderful to watch him think of someone else.   Time came to go to the party.  I dropped him off and gave the mom my cell phone and home phone numbers just in case and thanked her for inviting him.  All night I checked my phone waiting for a call.  Hoping that he would either make the whole night (or call before I fell asleep).  NOPE! 2:30 I got the call, “Owen is ready to come home”.  The best part and what I am so thankful for, not even a hint of judgment in this mom’s voice.  No “it’s 2:30 and your son is keeping me awake” it was one mom talking to another mom with only caring in her voice and I was so so grateful, I’m sure a houseful of nine year old boys is exhausting and add a needy one to the mix can’t help!  When I got there, Owen bolted to the car, I collected his things and I thanked her for trying, and her response, “We’ll try again!”   If my arms weren’t loaded down with his backpack and sleeping bag I think I would have hugged her.   Thank you God for people like her!  

Do you have a disability?

Friday night we did our bi-weekly grocery shopping (just with Owen Brooklynn was chilling with the Donaldsons at movie night). We were about half way thru when Owen and Donn had to take a bathroom break. I could tell that donn racing to make it in time. Donn came back laughing because he said that Owen asked him why he took the short urinal and left him the tall one. Donn said he was rushing because he really had to go and just went for the first one he got to, Owens next question "what are you disabled or something?". He cracks me up!

Confidence

Over the past Two weeks the 3rd-5th grade has endured what is called MAP Testing. It is a grade level aptitude test (Missouri Assessment Program) that for Owen, and all other Missouri 3rd Graders, tests them on Communication Arts and Mathematics. Early in the school year Donn & I met with his education team to update his IEP and decide what if any modifications or allowances needed to be made for Owen to take this test. i.e. extra time, possibly allow him to type his work rather then write with a pencil, or someone to take his dictation. We ended with no modifications and rolled the dice, crossed our fingers and hoped for the best. I looked at it as learning experience, this is his first time taking the test and if ANY modifications were made his scores would be excluded from the school average. I had faith that Owen’s grade would help the average not hurt the average.

It is preached to parents “make sure your kids get a good night sleep, have a healthy breakfast, ‘BEST FOOT FORWARD’ type of stuff”. Each day during the testing cycle, I would pick Owen up and ask him how testing was and he would say “good” or “fine”. At the end of week two when it was all over he said “I don’t think I missed any”. No anxiety there…. I’m glad we decided for the no modification. Regardless of how he did, I’m proud of his confidence. The feeling of leaving a test and feeling good about it – THAT is a great feeling.

Picky Eaters

I cook 99% of the meals my family eats from scratch. No boxes. I plan the menu out at least a week in advance there is a good balance of lean proteins and veggies and just enough bacon to say I made it. There is no 'alternate' meal option, they know they are going to eat what I've made or go hungry (do not comment on the malnourished size of my children, they are meant to be skinny) anyway, at dinner last night Owen is making random commentary about how he likes all foods (as a comeback to Brooklynn's complaint about the onions in my cobb meatloaf) "everything except yogurt".

Me: why don't you like yogurt? Is it the texture?
Owen: no, yogurt is for females.
Me: what?
Owen: mostly females eat yogurt, not males.

What kind of twisted kid am I raising?

You Are A Monkey

Brooklynn has a sacral tumor at the base of her spine. She was born with it and they told us not to worry so we don't. The way I deal with things like this is to mock them (it's my way of coping - go ahead judge me). Since Brooklynn was old enough to remember we told her that she had a tail (yes, I am very cruel) Owen knows and says the same thing, we call her a monkey because monkeys have tails and apes don't, things like that.

Fast forward to tonight when we are telling the kids about an the plans for the cruise we may be taking. It will include a stop in Honduras and an excursion to visit monkeys. Brooklynn says she doesn't want to visit monkeys because she is afraid of them and Owen flatly says, "you shouldn't be afraid, you are one of them". Brooklynn was less then pleased when we laughed.

I don't know if Owen was joking or if he thinks she actually has a tail and is a monkey. If he was joking I am filled with pride that my Aspy is so quick witted and funny. If he really thinks it is a tail and she is part monkey I have failed as a parent and have some serious correcting to do... Shoot!

Never Ask A Question You Don't Know The Answer To

During dinner the conversation went like this:

Me: Owen, when I get old will you take care of me?

Owen: (really long pause) well?

Me: OWEN!

Owen: (another really long pause) If you call me first, and you reeeaallyy need it and you need food I'll give it to you.

....so if I was counting on Owen taking care of me in my retirement I need a stronger plan B.

Earn It Back

Over something ridiculous, Brooklynns favorite toys of the moment have been ‘put on restriction’ (the toy – her Littlest Pet Shop figurines). I was very upset with her so I probably gave her toys a harsher punishment then Brooklynn deserved but they are banished to a box in the basement for three weeks. It was that or the trash can so Brooklynn was just fine with restriction. We are 4 days into the incarceration and last night I asked Brooklynn to sort some laundry (at this point in the blog I wound completely understand if everyone pictured me napping all the time and my kids as slave laborer, it is true, they probably do more chores then most kids their age, but I had to and I think I am better for it, I have a strong work ethic and I am bound and determined to instill the same in my kids – I digress) and fold a load of kitchen towels and put them away and empty the dishwasher. There was only a small amount of “but, mmmoommm” involved and at the end of it she was allowed to select ONE pet to be set free. She was SO excited. I explained to her that her hard work was ‘earned’ this pets freedom. I saw her wheels turning, I think if we had a fence she would be painting it right now in an attempt to free them all.

So – the ‘something ridiculous’ that she did to land her pets in jail. Saturday morning she got down the donut holes and Owen asked her for one (this is a stray from his normal breakfast routine, and she darn well knew it) and she quickly shoved all FOUR of them in her mouth so he couldn’t have any. I lost my mind! ONE, he asked for ONE! Her justification for making a greedy piglet of herself “Four is the number that I eat for breakfast so I couldn’t share”.

One thing that I can say about both of my kids – neither of them like seeing the other one being punished. I think it was as hard on Owen to see me almost throw away the Littlest Pet Shops as it was for Brooklynn. She threw herself on the ground begging me not to do it, so restriction it was. Brooklynn would have done the same thing, and pleaded for leniency for Owen. Sweet kids, I hope the protection lasts a lifetime!

This Kiss Could Last Forever

So Owen and I were ‘flipping the laundry’ together (moving the clean dry clothes to a basket, wet clothes to the dryer and another load in to be washed – I needed to explain because I have no idea what the rest of the world calls it – at our house it’s ‘flipping the laundry’) and I asked him for a kiss. He planted a gentle kiss on my lips and held it there. He pulled away and said we could do this forever and went back to holding his gentle kiss. I smiled and he pulled away and said well probably just for 2 and half days because you die of dehydration after 3 days. I guess he thought kissing me for 2 and half days was safe then. I love him!

Blue Light

Yesterday was the start of Autism Awareness Month.

I need to take a moment and say that I am very very very (VERY) proud of my husband. He is very supportive of our son. I can honestly say I don’t think he has any disappointment in the fact that he has autism or that isn’t going to follow in his dad’s high school athlete footsteps. This acceptance and unconditional love, I think, is an essential part of the process and ‘therapy’ for child with any ‘disability’. With a parents acceptance of who you are, you are able to do so much more. Just think if you had your parents disapproval as an obstacle to overcome…

Donn is amazing with Owen (Owen is easy to love, he is a fantastic human being!)

“Blue Light” is the bulb in my porch light. Donn changed out the bulb on April 1st. I think technically we were supposed to do it on the 2nd, but if I had my way we would leave it out all year making it Autism Awareness at our house all the time. Shouting “clearly, we support a cause”. The kids haven’t noticed, but they will and I’m looking forward to it when they do. I think tonight will be the night, because Carys leaves thru the front door and she is an inquisitive kid. Good luck Angel, you will have questions on the way home. XoXoX.